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So is there any way in which you can say for sure whether you are gay or not?

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Well, you are not necessarily gay if you sometimes have sexual dreams about other men. Plenty of men who are heterosexual, and who have never even had any sexual contact with other guys, have such dreams. And it does not mean you are gay if you ‘love’ your male friends. Plenty men genuinely love their male friends. Many men have completely normal and non-sexual relationships with other guys. But that does not mean we are gay. Obviously, it is a different matter if we find that we want to see their genitals, or long to hold and stroke them sexually. One way of figuring out sexuality is the question, “who do you think about when you masturbate?” Gay people tend to fantasize about their own gender when they masturbate whereas heterosexual people do not. It’s important to keep in mind that many straight men and women do have occasional sexual fantasies. Sometimes these fantasies involve group sex with both genders. However, as a general rule, if your mind is full of images of men when you masturbate, this probably means that you like men much more than women. And that’s okay. Some men will admit to having participated in masturbatory games, which may have included physical contact with other boys, during their teenage years. This kind of experience is quite common and does not necessarily mean that you are either gay or heterosexual.

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