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My One Time in Porn

A single-time performer talks why and what it meant for him.

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In the porn industry, those who are well known have a voice.  They are interviewed, they have a fan base, they are stars.  But hundreds of videos are made each year and many of the guys never make a career out it.  I met one such boy recently and asked him a little bit about what it was like to make only one video and then move on with his life.  To maintain his privacy, we’ll go by his initials, BK.


Danny: How old are you now and how old were you when you were featured in the video.

BK: I am now 21 and when I did the video I had just turned 19.

Danny: Tell me a little about your life at the time.  What prompted you being in the video?

BK: At the time, I had just started my freshman year of college. I was addicted to porn. I watched it almost daily. I’d also fantasize about filming my own sexual encounters with men I was sleeping with.

To be completely honest, it was mostly for all the wrong reasons. I had actually just been broken up with and I did it majorly out of spite. As much as I truly cared about the man I was with at the time, he broke it off in such a disrespectful way. It was by text message at 7AM before my first class.  It was a relationship that I took very seriously and I wanted to do something to hurt him. So I got into contact with The MaverickMen and we began talking. Talking quickly escalated into them offering me an opportunity to do a video with them. And so, it just sort of happened.

Danny: What was your ex’s reaction? Did you ever discuss it with him?

BK: I never brought it up, so it really was a surprise to him. He was extremely judgmental of the situation and made me feel horrible for doing it. This quickly led to the destruction of our relationship.

Danny: Did you have any sex work experience prior to doing the video?  Escorting, go-go dancing, etc.?

BK: I had had absolutely no sex work experience prior to the video.

Danny: Were there any financial benefits to you doing the video? Or was it mostly action driven (because of the breakup)?  Is the financial aspect attractive/worth it?

BK: There was a small financial stipend for doing the video. However it was mostly action driven. While the financial aspect was great, I got a lot more out of the experience than any financial bonus.  

Danny: Do you ever worry about being recognized?  Has it happened?

BK: For a while I was sort of embarrassed about it. When the video actually came out on their site, I was dating someone. It was nothing serious, but it was a growing relationship that quickly fell to shambles because of trust issues the video created.

Word that I had done the video spread and within no time at all almost anyone I met asked if it was ME in the video. I wasn’t ashamed of saying yes but it was a topic I tried to push aside and avoided going into detail about. After about a year, people stopped asking or talking about it. I was no longer the “porn-star friend”.

Since then, I’ve had a few people “discover” it and ask me about it which has been no big deal.  Again I just said yes, answered any quick questions they may have had, and kept the conversation moving.

Once, I was actually grabbed by hand while walking around a club in Boston. “You’re ‘so-and-so’ right? You’ve been in porn?” I was slightly drunk at the time and sort of just giggled and tried to pull away and dash off. The man quickly noticed my nervousness and confessed that he had been in 4 videos himself. It put me at ease and we spent the rest of the night talking, dancing, and drinking. No real friendship sparked from that night, though.  We didn’t keep in touch.

Danny: Would you ever consider doing another video?

BK: I actually have given thought to doing another video. I was given an offer to do a video with FraternityX.com, but had to decline because of work and school related things. It was a learning experience that taught me a lot about myself and how I can handle things. It also gave me two great new friends who I’ve gone to for advice and support a number of times. Overall, I think I would do another video given the right situation.

Danny: What would your advice be to someone considering doing a video?

BK: This is actually a topic and a conversation I recently had with a friend of mine. He had an offer to do a video for a major site and came to me for advice.

For those considering doing a video, there IS a lot to think about. First, you have to be someone who can separate an emotional attachment from sex. Also, you have to be very confident with yourself and your body image. After doing a video and having people see it, in my experience, you receive one of three responses. Some people think nothing of it. Others will praise, envy, or become more sexually attracted to you. Still, others will shun you for it. Some more aggressively and with more maliciously than others. Without personal strength and support from others around you, this can be majorly draining. If you’re the type of person who can’t handle criticism, then going into the sex working industry openly is not something you might be able to handle well.  

You also have to come to terms with the idea that not only are you being paid to have sex, but it is something that others will be able to enjoy or find FOREVER. Once your video has been released, it will more than likely be on the internet. And, as I’m sure we’ve all been told growing up, “what goes on the internet can never be taken back.” This is a very true statement, especially for the porn industry.

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