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Dolf Dietrich

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HOOK: You’ve traveled quite the distance. One would never have expected you to be where you are now.

Dolf Dietrich: Yeah, I was very green when I met you with a lot of things including sex and all that. I don’t know if you know this about me, but I was married before that. I was living in Boston, and I was married to a man for four years, and I was very uptight with sex and everything. We were just very prudish and didn’t really like to try the harness. Never did anything too weird or sexual.

But then when I ended up getting divorced from him, I moved to New York City the week after I moved out. I changed my name when I first moved. That’s where my life kind of started with the sex stuff and just learning who I was. Experimenting, going home, parties that HX offered. Mr. Harness, Mr. Leatherman, the leather parties and stuff. Since then, it’s kind of evolved up to Dolf Dietrich, which is a whole new chapter of my life starting at 40 years old.

HOOK: It’s fascinating because I knew you in that transition period and you expressed to me at the time, and you’ve certainly been pretty public about the changes that you made physically in order to do that.

Dolf: The surgery that I had, I had when I was born it’s a condition called pectus excavatum, which is sunken chest, and I was always very underweight. I tried to go to the gym, but it didn’t really make a difference because it would make it more prominent, this deep thing that I had.

Some people find they can accept themselves like that. Personally, I being an author for a gay magazine and doing photo shoots of perfect gay bodies and gay porn stars sort of made me realize that I would love to look like that, sort of transform myself.

Dolf Dietrich (before and after)

Dolf Dietrich (before and after)

When I ended up working at Next Magazine after that I had pretty good insurance and surgery cost like $50,000. I was able to get approved for this surgery at the Presbyterian Hospital in New York and it took three times. They denied, denied, denied.

The last time I went in for the last tests just to try one more time, I fucked up the tests. I took a Viagra, a line of coke and got on the treadmill. The guy who put the things all over me was like, “did you really need this surgery?” A week later I got a call and they were like we’ve approved your surgery, $50,000.

Two months later I was in the hospital, I had a boyfriend, Wolf, at the time. He took care of me through it all. They broke my sternum, pulled it up, put a bar in there and it was a really harsh recovery. After recovering, the doctors said we did the best we could, you’ll never really get any muscle, or get bigger, or look like a man with aged wood or whatever. I decided I was going to prove them wrong. I started going to the gym like crazy after that. I’ve got the Chester’s fixed, I start working out and started getting tattoos, started experimenting that’s kind of where that whole adult feature thing started.

HOOK: Interesting. It started in New York?

Dolf: No, it didn’t actually start in New York. It didn’t start until Provincetown. When I moved to Provincetown in 2009, I think, didn’t even start then. I was just working on myself, working on getting bigger. I was like online one day, probably cruising a porn site, jerking off or something and I saw a banner ad to work from home and be a webcam model.

It was flirt4free.com. I just signed up one day. I read through all their website. Like I can do this, I signed up got myself a profile, got approved, signed the paperwork, faxed everything in and got my account. I started webcamming. In the first week I made about twelve hundred bucks just jerking off on cam a few nights a week.

I remember I didn’t tell my boyfriend at the time. I was like, hmm. He lives in Paris. I went to Paris a month later. I’d been webcamming and sort of getting a following, making some pretty good money. When I got to Paris I told him, I said I’ve got to tell you something. I created this persona named Dolf Dietrich webcamming for money… blah, blah, blah. At first he was really pissed. I thought he was going to break up with me, but then I told him how much I was making and he seemed to get on the bandwagon pretty fast.

The next year and a half I was webcamming on Flirt4free. I was making pretty good money, but I also had other jobs. I was a designer, I still am. I was landscaping, I was bartending, and I was just doing everything. The webcam stuff got old a little bit fast, but I really enjoyed doing it.

I’m still on that website, but I haven’t done it in a while. I’m on randyblue.com. I sort of transferred my time into other stuff now. I haven’t shot a porn yet per se, but that might come soon too. I don’t really know what I’ll be transitioning into.

HOOK: What are you doing with all the money? It sounds like you’re making money through landscaping, contract stuff obviously all the webcam, obviously it seemed lucrative. What’s it going for?

Dolf: Well with the Dolf Dietrich stuff, I don’t really know where it’s going to take me. I sort of used it in a way to create this persona, like I said, with social media. I’ve got three Facebook accounts. Twitter. Pinterest. Tumblr. Everything you could imagine.

If you total up all my followers and friends now it’s almost 40,000 right now which is pretty amazing. Almost ten thousand on Twitter. I have the Facebook fan group, two Facebook pages: all full.

It’s kind of like to see how much I can do and get posting even though I haven’t done porn yet necessarily, but I’m still giving people what they want which is constant photo shoots, videos, things like that.

HOOK: But it sounds like it was pretty lucrative. From a practical standpoint, what did you do with the money?

Dolf: Well the money all went into rent, into taking care of myself, apartments, living situations and things like that. I didn’t really know how to make more of a living at it at the time; I probably needed one of your classes or something. I knew it wasn’t going to be my main source of income, it was more just to make me feel good about myself, I guess, but also to have fun.

The webcam stuff was just very difficult. I tried to create a niche for myself where I was the dirtiest webcam guy, like I would put huge toys in my ass, and like, just fucking I would get really out there because a lot of the webcam guys would just like, slap their ass and just fake it, whatever. But I was completely as dirty as people wanted to be.

Dolf: My favorite webcam story was this, I had a client who used to want me to be a robot, he was really into robot sex. He wanted his companion to be completely made of gears. I would talk like {a robot}, I would flex and move like a robot, talk in a robotic voice and it just got this guy to keep paying. It’s like $7.00 a minute, he’d just stay and it was crazy.

HOOK: Wow.

Dolf: I tried to make it into an acting experience.

HOOK: But what’s your goal? What would be enough for you at this point? It sounds like 40,000 Twitter fans, it sounds like it’s been lucrative, what’s the goal?

Dolf: I’m trying to figure that out at this moment. Collecting the fans and the Twitter accolades and all that stuff is fun and I’m thinking at one point it’s going to come to a point where it’s going to mean more offers. I’ve been offered movies from almost all the studios but I have said no because of my current boyfriend. I need to ease him into things.

With the ‘webcamming’, at first he was like “I don’t want you doing that” and then finally he was OK with it. We did a photo shoot together just a few months ago where we had sex in front of the camera. I thought we were going to be able to do scenes together. We got hired by Titan as an exclusive couple, and that fell through because he didn’t want to do it at the last minute.

HOOK: What was his concern?

Dolf: He’s just very shy, in a way. It’s hard to explain. He’s the most beautiful fucking sexy man, biggest dick, best muscle bear you’ve ever seen in your entire life. He’s fucking gorgeous, the sex is amazing. If we had a studio with our sex represented it would be fucking off the hook. I just don’t think he wants people to look at him that way.

HOOK: He doesn’t work in the industry then, right?

Dolf: No, he doesn’t.

HOOK: Were you with him before you started? Obviously you were with him before you started working and doing this kind of work.

Dolf: Yeah, at this point he likes that I have the Dolf Dietrich thing to keep me busy, because he lives in Paris and I live here. He doesn’t mind that I tweet pictures of my cock all day or get fucked on a video. But he doesn’t necessarily want me to do a porn. Although I think I might ask him again this summer if I want to do one, I’m not sure yet.

HOOK: What would doing a porn do for you?

1559-400x587Dolf: I don’t know, I don’t necessarily think I even need to do it, to be honest. I’m not sure that I am going to do it. I’m providing people with, like I said, constant pictures of myself doing what I like to do. I have control over my own image. I’m not necessarily sure that I even want to do it especially because it’s not my main source of income.

That’s why I wasn’t sure why you wanted to talk to me, really, because it’s great to catch up, but I’m not gung‑ho into the adult industry at all. I’m a graphic designer like you are.

HOOK: Right.

Dolf: That’s my main thing. I work now for the town of Provincetown, I do all the branding for the tourism and the marketing board. I work for this magazine called Edge. The porn stuff is really just to keep me, to be honest, it keeps me going to the gym every day and it gives me attention that I really like. I don’t know, I like having fans, I like having people follow me from across the world. I like waking up and having messages from all these different countries. It’s pretty exciting but I don’t know where I’m going to take it.

HOOK: Interesting, and how does the boyfriend feel about you with all the fans?

Dolf: He thinks it’s funny. I sent him a picture of my cock yesterday and he’s like “Is this for me or for your Dolf fans?” Meanwhile, I had tweeted it.

[laughter]

Dolf: A bunch of tweets. “It’s just for you baby, it’s just for you.” It won’t look bad like that. He doesn’t really care, except it’s a little bit embarrassing when he’s at the gym or something, someone will pull up their iPhone in Paris and be like, “Is this your boyfriend? Dolf Dietrich on Tumblr?” Like jerking off or whatever. He gets a little bit annoyed is what happens.

This year it kind of took off, during two years, last year was just the beginning and no one really knew, and then suddenly over the winter it just really took off. I guess I put enough content out there that people seemed to start knowing who I was. It’s pretty funny, too, because I live in Provincetown, and you’ve been here before. What a small gossipy little town it can be. It has come back and it has bit me in the ass, I can’t do anything about it.

HOOK: How so?

Dolf: Well I’ll be at the gym and people that I vaguely know will just come up to me like “Hey I saw your persona online,” I’m like “That’s nice.” It happens constantly now, it happens all the time in Provincetown. I had this restaurant, this guy, a friend of mine his boss was showing him my pictures on his iPhone. People just gossip and talk. Now, I know that everybody in this small community knows about it, and they’ll talk about it. I don’t really care.

HOOK: It sounds like it might, has it affected your business?

Dolf: As far as my graphic design?

HOOK: Clients, and other aspects of it.

Dolf: No, I’m pretty sure that my uptight visitor services board people know about it, but it’s Provincetown, it’s not like I have an HR guy breathing down my neck saying “We know you do porn” or “We know you’re online jerking off,” or this and that. I don’t think it’s going to cause a problem. I don’t care too much, it’s just Provincetown..

HOOK: What about friends? Has it affected any of your friendships or relationships that way?

Dolf: A little bit, I have some friends that think it’s a little sketchy but this year it seems to be getting a little bit better because they know I haven’t changed. I do tweet a lot if I’m out at a bar, at dinner. It’s not so bad. There’s different rules in Provincetown. My friends are pretty open minded. I have no problems with it for the most part. I really don’t. It gets a little annoying sometimes with people being gossipy here.

HOOK: But it sounds like you love it. It sounds like, obviously, if you’re not doing it for the money, right?

Dolf: Yeah. I’m not.

HOOK: What’s the motivation?

Dolf: Like I said, the motivation is really, it keeps me, it gives me excitement, it keeps me going to the gym, and it’s like my hobby, working on Dolf Dietrich, creating this persona. I’ve been marketing things for other people for years now and creating other people’s campaigns. That’s what I’ve decided, two years ago, after I started working on my physique and my tattoos and all this.

Why not market Dolf Dietrich as a brand? I put shit out there that’s bigger than I really am. People buy it because I’m selling it as a marketer, and it just adds me up to a level. I also put in the work at the gym and with myself but I create this marketing campaign for Dolf Dietrich that makes it seem bigger than he is. Which leads me to more and more fans and leads me to, I don’t know what’s going to come next.

HOOK: You like the way your body is. Are you satisfied with the way it is?

Dolf: I want to be bigger all the time. To be honest, you can touch about this if you wanted, I guess. I started taking performance enhancing stuff in New York, like a lot of guys do, to become bigger. Testosterone, steroids.

That was one of the things when I was working at HX, I was doing a photo shoot with Erik Rhodes, who’s since obviously passed on. He was doing it and that’s how I started talking to him about it. He showed me the ropes and how to do that. That started me down that road of wanting to get bigger. I’m still in that position of always still feel skinny, no matter how big I get. But I try and get bigger and bigger.

HOOK: Again, what would be enough?

Dolf: I’d like to be like fucking jacked, huge, and bigger. Just bigger, bigger, bigger, and I work every day really hard at it. I used to weigh 160. I weigh 210 now. I’ve put on 50 pounds in 10 years. It took me 10 years to do it. If I could put on 20 more pounds, 30 more pounds, I’d be fucking happy with that.

HOOK: Do you ever get concerned about the steroids, or is it just something you feel is a fair tradeoff?

Dolf: My doctor monitors me. He monitors my liver. I’m very open about it. We talk about it all the time. I’m concerned about it. There will come an end, just like everything else. I’m going to be 42 this year. Things don’t go on forever.

HOOK: What do you think the time span is? Obviously, with situations that happened with our pod. Certainly we’ve had some drama this last year, or this last few months. We have sad incidences with people like Arpad Miklos, and other people who have feared growing older, within the community. Is there a timeline? Is there a max?

Dolf: It’s funny. I had lunch with Jesse Jackman the other day, who lives in Boston. He comes to Provincetown a lot. He’s a friend of mine.

It was the day after Arpad Miklos died, and we were talking about it. Jesse works at one of the hospitals in Boston. He’s a tech guy. He’s got a real career. He just happens to do porn. He’s a big time exclusive and makes a lot of money, but he has this real full‑time job. He’s a tech guy.

He’s very intelligent. He went to MIT or Harvard or something. Not that I’m in that echelon, but I’m an educated man. I have a career. I didn’t know Arpad. I didn’t know a lot of those guys who passed on, for the most part. Or what their situations were. But for me, I feel like getting older, as a gay man, isn’t that great.

But I look fucking better now at 41 than I did when I was 31 or 21. And I’m probably going to look fucking better at 51 than I did back then. I’m not too worried about it. I don’t really put my career into my looks. Because my career is really design. I think you can do that until someone’s old and dead.

HOOK: But it’s not just your career. It’s also who you see in the mirror. It’s where you get your happiness and your value from, right?

Dolf: I feel better about myself now than ever. It’s very ironic that I happen to be almost 42. When I first met you, I just didn’t feel good about myself. It took that surgery. It took working out. It took getting tattooed. It took showing myself off to get that self-worth. I’ve seen therapists all the time, have talked about it. I’m comfortable with it at this point. I don’t feel like it’s something I really have to be too concerned about.

HOOK: A lot of guys really shy away from the idea of therapy, talking about therapists. Is there value? Did you find value in the experience?

Dolf: For the most part. I’ve seen therapists off and on for a few years now. I think it’s always good because I don’t really share too much with my friends. My friends just might want to talk about themselves. I love paying someone to do things. Like listen. Pay someone who went to school for it and get their feedback. It’s always nice to speak to an intelligent person, tell them my feelings, and have them repeat back to me. I can say I never really looked at it that way.

I think it’s healthy. I think it’s just like going to the gym or taking medicine if you don’t feel well. I always feel when I get a little bit down or weird about some situation, I might go for a few therapy sessions, and then I’m usually good to go for a while.

I think I’m pretty centered. It is terrible, I don’t know what’s been going on with those guys but, for myself, I’m not obviously immersed in the industry as much as they were. It’s hard to find self‑worth and get older as a gay man. It’s tricky. Who knows what the future holds. Doing OK for now.

HOOK: When you were talking about getting approval for the surgery you mentioned that you’d involved cocaine and a variety of other things in a mix. I’m not a teetotaler at all around these things. But I’m curious, are alcohol and narcotics, part of your play?

Dolf: Actually they’re not. It was when I was in my 20s and 30s. Until about 33, until when I moved to New York, believe it or not. I was still a little bit crazy in New York. Now, I’ve got a lot of that out of my system. When I was in my 20s, I just fucking did drugs every night. I didn’t take care of myself. I ate what I wanted. Now that I’ve gotten older and a little bit wiser. Fortunately I didn’t deal with addiction like a lot of my friends do who are in the program. I organically grew out of doing drugs. My drug of choice was cocaine.

I can touch it now maybe once or twice a year if it’s in front of me. But I don’t want it, it just happens to be there. I’ll have a few glasses of wine on the weekends. I’ll drink a few drinks on the weekends. But for the most part, it’s more important for me to wake up and work and eat healthy food. I was prone to it in my 20s, but I organically grew out all that partying. It was fun.

I actually never did any harder drugs until last year, for the first time, when I was in Europe. I was in Madrid and I did GHB. Did that in a club, and it was kind of fun. I just don’t think I have to worry about addiction problems at this time.

HOOK: Is your relationship open?

Dolf: Actually, it’s closed. We opened it up for last summer, because we were having some problems. I didn’t really feel good about it. I didn’t feel comfortable having it open because I’m a very jealous man. He is too. We closed it off. It’s been four years now.I’ve only been with him and two other guys when we were open. Three guys in four years. I market myself as this incredible slut, but I’m not. I’m just more conservative than I look.

It’s kind of funny because I’ve created this tattooed, big guy. I’m still that sweet, shy kid that you met. But people just assume I’m a huge, mean top now, which is kind of funny. But I can play that. I can play that if I need to, and I can enjoy it. I’m kind of versatile anyway.

HOOK: What do the next few years have for you?

Dolf: I’m going to continue working out, maintaining myself physically fit. What I just found recently, that I really liked, was that post that you saw, my before and after. I was struggling. I’d never posted my before picture until two weeks ago, or last week whenever you saw it. I was ashamed of that. To me I looked skinny and gaunt, not hot.

But when you put those two pictures next to each other, and you present that. What I posted was that I want to be an inspiration to young gay kids, or any kind of kid who’s not happy with the way they look. You need to be comfortable with yourself first, then if you want to work on your physical being, anything’s possible. You can show this hard work.

I’ve gotten messages from all across the world, these kids that are really uncomfortable with themselves. Made me feel good. I’ve offered support and emailed back a quick message. They get so excited that a porn star is writing back. But for the most part, I just tell them to work at it.

They’re like, “Thank you for inspiring me, you’re before and after made me want to go to the gym, and made me want to do this, do that.” I feel really good about that. The fitness thing is coming into play for me more than ever.

HOOK: Do you think it’s odd that a porn star would have that effect more than a scientist or a physicist?

Dolf: It’s a whole syndrome of our society. When people are just so important because they’re actors or actresses. Then the people who are curing cancer, no one even cares about, but if an actress walks into a room…..

You’re just pretending to be someone else on film, it’s silly. It’s just the way it is. In my own small, little way I think I’ve helped a few people that make me feel pretty good.

In the next few years, it’s more important for me to have a loving, great relationship with amazing sex. If it’s not on film, I don’t need to be in a feature film. It’d be fun. That’s the reason I haven’t done it. I’ve been offered, like I said, but it’s more important to me to not fuck up my relationship at this point. If I was single, I’d probably do whatever I wanted to do. Then again, we’ve been going on five years long distance, so I’m not sure where that’s going to lead. Because he’s not moving here any time soon.

HOOK: You’re not moving there?

Dolf: I don’t really love Paris. I love Paris, but I don’t speak French. I just, I’m not moving to Paris. There’s no way.

HOOK: I agree with you. I’m not a huge fan of Paris. But I love the Provence and the southern area. The Canyon du Verdon and the areas down there are stunning.

Dolf: We’ve gone all over France.

HOOK: It’s a beautiful country. It’s not the same.

Dolf: It’s fun to have a French boyfriend.

HOOK: Technically you could get married, right?

Dolf: It’s complicated. We’ll see where it goes. I’m going to see what the summer holds. Basically just work on graphic design, keep up the Dolf stuff. He’ll go away someday. He can’t last forever. I don’t know where to take it.

HOOK: It’ll go away. You mean the webcam stuff or the boyfriend? [laughter]

Dolf: The Dolf.

HOOK: That was a vague preposition, I’m like, wait a minute, which one?

Dolf: No, Forty two this June. I’m still kicking ass, like I said, looking better than I have ever before, all right. I dunno. I dunno. We’ll see where it goes.

HOOK: You’d say you’re comfortable with yourself.

Dolf: Yeah. At this point, definitely. It’s good. I love being forty plus. It’s good.

HOOK: [laughs] Awesome!

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